Gram

Today, I miss my Gram a lot.
Some days more than others...but today, I was reading my morning passage...and it reminded me of something she would say so often.

Gram was one of those people...the kind that even though you don't always get along...you always love them.
She would tell you what you NEEDED to hear...as apposed to what you wanted to hear.

She loved crib and laughter. She loved little Josiah the most...her Joey, she called him. He's alive because she loved him, and cared for him when no one else knew what to do or what was wrong with him.

Gram loved flowers and birds. She gardened...even in her dreams those last couple years when she couldn't get out of bed.
She was more worried about mum, and scaring the kids, then her own pain.
She wanted to go peacefully at home...so she did.

Gram didn't always know what she wanted...but she ALWAYS wanted what she had. She didn't believe in waste or needless pain.
She had the recipes and remedies for everything.
Gram lived over 30 years with cancer...and never gave up hope.

I miss my Gram mostly for the important stuff she taught me...
But she is in a better place now. A place without pain or waste.
I hope she will be gardening wherever she is...she loved that the most.

Luv you Gram.

One Hurt

Today,
I was hurt.
It hurt so bad my insides bled out on the floor.
With no one to see but me,
And your back behind the door.

I sat down to write,
Write to you all the hurt.

Like vomit on the table,
I spilled it all out.
Pen on paper,
I spewed it about.

How horrible you were to do this to me...
How could you?

Then I set back and stared.

Tears formed in my eyes as I read.
All those terrible,
Hateful,
Nasty and cruel,
Distateful things I said.

And I read.
I read as if I were you.

Up on my feet,
I crumpled it up.

I wrote down,
"I'm sorry."
"I wish this hadn't happened at all"

I folded this new sheet.
I wrote on your address.
I walked to the shelf and placed on a stamp.
I mailed this to you.

All that vicious hurt still rests on a paper.
In the trash.
Where it belongs.

Today,
I was hurt.
Tomorrow...
It won't be you that hurts like I did.

1 hurt turns into 2 way too often.

Cribbage

Eric, Charley & Mum play cribbage to pass the time...

Mum draws between hands

Charley takes his time creating the "perfect cribbage hand"

...And Eric would really like a hand!

Snow Man

Yesterday, I went out while Dad and the kids were building their snowman from the first heavy snow of the year. They were having so much fun! It was truly infectious.


Dad and Alizandra making his head


David packing snow balls.


Dad and Alizandra building up the body.


Devon


Josiah and his shovel.


Dad and David having shovel snow-fight-wars.

First Edit

So here is my first Edit on the TaeKwonDo test images.

I'm pretty sure I'm happy with it so far.
I did 3 step layering, then a bit of blur and cloning.
I have an idea of another thing I can try, but I'll post it when I'm finished working on it :)

Performance Phoenix Photo Opportunity

I'm thrilled to announce the date of the TaeKwonDo Photo Day,
November 28th.
Up top are a couple of the raw images I'm working with to perfect the style I will be using. I will be making another post when I have finished working on them.
I was so pleased with the positive reaction to Instructor Dave's announcement, and look forward to a beautiful turn out.
So, I will be busy...but happily so!

On a personal note, Josiah made his yellow belt, along with the majority of his class. I was so proud of them all.

I think it is important to remember that each day is a brand new opportunity to grasp hold of the gift of life and be thankful!
There have been times when I have questioned my dreams and aspirations, yet the Universe seems to know when we need a lift the most, and is there with it's hand out, whispering "trust me and fly"

Until then-- Beth

Another November day

Most recently, I realized that winter isn't even here yet, and I miss summer already.
Sometimes I think that perhaps Eric is right...we should just move to Nevada and call it a day!

But, being here has it's perks as well. I enjoy seeing the kids more regularly, and get to take part in things like school events, belt testing and races...so there's always more then one side to a story.

Josiah did his test for his yellow belt on Friday. It was really cool to see that little guy break the thingy with his head, and do sparring. I hope he passed the testing cuz he sure did put his all into it.

As for "how I'm doing"...I'm taking each day at a time. Reading "Reike and the Seven Chakras" by Richard Ellis and "Kids Are Worth It" by Barbara Coloroso.
I also have been given a wonderful photo opportunity by the local TaeKwonDo school. They are allowing me to be their official Photographer for class portraits and packages. I'm super excited to do that, and have to go in and set a date...soon I guess cuz Christmas is nearly here already.
Wow how time flies.

Mum is hanging in there. Her surgery is fast approaching, and specialists around here make me scratch my head over and over again. So very helpful...?? Hmmm. But she still has good days and bad. I hope for her speedy recovery and trust the Universe knows what it's doing.

Other then that, life is pretty much status quo. I'm learning very quickly to accept what is and embrace the possibilities. Eric and I still have each other, and all is well.

Many blessings...

October Blues and Other Stuff

So October...hee.
So far, Mum is hanging in there. She has good days and bad.
I'm not so thrilled about the cold weather that is setting in...eh, but what can you do? Seems to happen every year whether you want it to or not.

We had Alizandra's birthday party. My baby is 5 now!
How the years fly by...hmmmm.
Curtis and Hazel came out, which was pretty nice.

Devon had his races. That boy can fly like the wind.
2.2 km's like it was nothing!! It was absolutely amazing to be there and see it all happen. I'm so super proud of him.

I'm trucking away and doing what I have to do.
Eric is playing poker a lot, and I'm helping out with mum and looking for work. Some days it feels like barking up an old tree...and others I'm just so glad to be here.

It's rather odd coming back home...home...if I can call it that.
The buildings are the same, and some of the faces are the same...and at night, when I go for a walk, it feels the same as it used to.
But during the day with the hustle, it's like being in a place that you know...but don't really recognize any more.

Any way....
All is well here.

movinÈ

We made the big move...wow.
It ended up being a majorly long (but super fun) weekend.
Went to Liskeard for the turkey dinner and catch-up with Jacquie. Great times with both.
Dave came down to help us with the move. I got to see a bit of what he does-much fun, but not for me ;)
Eric got to see his brother (good time I hear- but since I wasnt there its just hear-say)
Any way, since then we have been just settling in. Looking at jobs here and there, but mostly just catching our breath and getting a feel for what is next.
I am really enjoying that whole returning to old ground feeling. And waiting for the next big step.
That is all for tonight. I will have pics for the next post cuz it will be after Alizandras birthday party...She will be 5!!

Almost...

I can barely believe that it's almost 2 years since Eric and I became a "couple" LMAO...some days it seems like we've been together for years and years...and other times (like when I haven't seen him in a while) it's like the first date all over again.
He still gives me butterflies and makes me blush :) awwwwww.
I don't know what life would have been like without him...but I'm sure glad he won his bet and bought me Vietnamese fooooood...hee hee...and I like Kung Fu flicks.
So...here's to us babe...only a few more days til the two year mark.
And MWA...I love you xoxoxo

Herc & Urkle

Happiness and unhappiness are in fact one.
Only the Illusion of time seperates them.
~Eckhart Tolle
Failure lies concealed in every success, and success in every failure.
In this world, which is to say on the level of form, everybody "fails" sooner or later, of course, and every achievment eventaully comes to naught. All forms are impermanent.

Direct Quotes from "Practicing the Power of Now" ~Eckhart Tolle.

There are those who do not "believe" in your transformation.
They do not believe because they "CAN NOT".
They can not...because to believe that you can "change" or you can become a "better person" suggest their own weakness.
In truth, the only people who will support you on your journey of enlightenment are those who are already there, or those travelling with you.
All the "weak of mind" will doubt and find flaw in your efforts.
They will say things to hurt you, to your face or behind your back.
They will attempt to do things to cause you to falter, and when you do; They will point and say "aha...see..you have not changed"

But this is no reason to not move forward!
Let them go...
Continue on your journey, and think of them with love instead of allowing them, their thoughts, actions or words to hold you back or make you feel guilty for wanting better for yourself.
In the end, they may return to your life...or they may not.

Another Day, 'Nother dime

Wow, life sure has done a dramatic "swing-around-the-rosie" in the last few weeks!
Like seriously...I'm living on faith right now!
So mum was in the hospital...dramatic and scary for those few days.
I took a week off work to go down and help out her and kids, only to discover that the issues are much deeper then we originally had thought.
So...
Now Eric and I are packing and moving AGAIN!!
It's been really hard giving notice here.
I really have grown to enjoy the people I work with. I know that I will keep in touch with a couple of them, so that's not so heart breaking....but there is a shift in the way we are treated. That makes me sad.
If I had a choice, I would not be leaving this way, this fast.
Eric and I had been contemplating splitting a few times for various reasons, but had determined to stay for at least a year.
I guess the job had grown on us :)
But now...there is no options really.
I need my family to come first!
So it's a little topsy-turvy. Packing, cleaning, organizing, making plans...
The next few months will be a little chaotic and probably financially devastating...but I have faith that this is the right thing to do, for the right reasons.
I also have complete faith that we will land on our feet the way we are supposed to.
These things only happen to us to make us stronger!!
It's all good...stressful, but good!! :)
We will be kissing Ottawa bye-bye in a few short weeks. Then we will be learning a new city, a new job, and opening the next chapter of our lives.
Thank goodness things happen for a reason!!

Summer's almost gone....

So summer is almost done...aww.
There were so many things I wanted to get done, but alas, they will have to wait. Guess it wasn't in the stars for me.
On a brighter note...I did get a bunch of stuff accomplished....so it's all good.
Had a super fun time with the kidlets, and got a lot of work done towards publishing some of my art and getting that ball rolling.
So YAY!!

50 things about me you never needed to know

50 things about me you didn’t need to know….....inspired by Karin Taylor

Another Day

So, I had a really bad sleep last night...Tossing and turning, couldn't get to sleep.
I got up, had a smoke and a drink of water, only to lay down again and toss and toss.
Finally,
I realized that I was only stressing about things I could do nothing about.
So foolish.
Then I asked for sleep and cleared out my head until finally I drifted off into a restless night of sleep. Only to wake up this morning, sore and tired.

Why???
So many reasons it's practically dumb. Each on their own is NADA...but all together makes for unreasonable amounts of stress...
Work, money, family, court, angry words, listlessness, hopelessness, being trapped, feeling lost...
And for what???
Nothing really.
Everything comes to pass.
Each experience a lesson to learn, a chance to grow.
So why obsess and manic out over something that has to be in order to go??
There's the real question!!

So I decided today, while under a pile of paper work...
I'll let it all go.
What difference does it make any way?
The Universe knows what it's doing, and won't let things that aren't supposed to happen, happen...or vice versa.
Things will be the way they need to be,
What it is is what it is
What it will be is what it will be...
And that's all there is to it.
I can't heal the world any more then the world could heal me.
I had to want help in order to get it, and had to accept what WAS before I could move forward.

So that's all...
I'm stressed...but trying not to be. I'm giving it all back to the universe in hopes that this will set me free.
Cheers.

Extraordinary Machine.

I just love this song...it "speaks to me" gooooooo fig-UR LMAO
No, seriously, listen to this song :)

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I kissed a GIRL LOL Great video

This video really rocks :))

Starting out

http://www.blambertphotos.com/

So I've started a blog...yay.

I should start out by saying that this is tres cool...I can post pics of the kids and stuff and share it with anyone who is really interested.

What's new in my life??...well, I had a great summer with the boys. They each were here for a week...and the babies came up for the weekend. Ended it off by bringing David home and having a Super Fly weekend, swimming, playing and helping Char with his new home (yippee)

And now, I'm looking forward to the probability of moving again (oh joy) Maybe here, maybe there...but mostly MAYBE. Can't say for sure yet...LOL