Gram

Today, I miss my Gram a lot.
Some days more than others...but today, I was reading my morning passage...and it reminded me of something she would say so often.

Gram was one of those people...the kind that even though you don't always get along...you always love them.
She would tell you what you NEEDED to hear...as apposed to what you wanted to hear.

She loved crib and laughter. She loved little Josiah the most...her Joey, she called him. He's alive because she loved him, and cared for him when no one else knew what to do or what was wrong with him.

Gram loved flowers and birds. She gardened...even in her dreams those last couple years when she couldn't get out of bed.
She was more worried about mum, and scaring the kids, then her own pain.
She wanted to go peacefully at home...so she did.

Gram didn't always know what she wanted...but she ALWAYS wanted what she had. She didn't believe in waste or needless pain.
She had the recipes and remedies for everything.
Gram lived over 30 years with cancer...and never gave up hope.

I miss my Gram mostly for the important stuff she taught me...
But she is in a better place now. A place without pain or waste.
I hope she will be gardening wherever she is...she loved that the most.

Luv you Gram.

One Hurt

Today,
I was hurt.
It hurt so bad my insides bled out on the floor.
With no one to see but me,
And your back behind the door.

I sat down to write,
Write to you all the hurt.

Like vomit on the table,
I spilled it all out.
Pen on paper,
I spewed it about.

How horrible you were to do this to me...
How could you?

Then I set back and stared.

Tears formed in my eyes as I read.
All those terrible,
Hateful,
Nasty and cruel,
Distateful things I said.

And I read.
I read as if I were you.

Up on my feet,
I crumpled it up.

I wrote down,
"I'm sorry."
"I wish this hadn't happened at all"

I folded this new sheet.
I wrote on your address.
I walked to the shelf and placed on a stamp.
I mailed this to you.

All that vicious hurt still rests on a paper.
In the trash.
Where it belongs.

Today,
I was hurt.
Tomorrow...
It won't be you that hurts like I did.

1 hurt turns into 2 way too often.

Cribbage

Eric, Charley & Mum play cribbage to pass the time...

Mum draws between hands

Charley takes his time creating the "perfect cribbage hand"

...And Eric would really like a hand!

Snow Man

Yesterday, I went out while Dad and the kids were building their snowman from the first heavy snow of the year. They were having so much fun! It was truly infectious.


Dad and Alizandra making his head


David packing snow balls.


Dad and Alizandra building up the body.


Devon


Josiah and his shovel.


Dad and David having shovel snow-fight-wars.

First Edit

So here is my first Edit on the TaeKwonDo test images.

I'm pretty sure I'm happy with it so far.
I did 3 step layering, then a bit of blur and cloning.
I have an idea of another thing I can try, but I'll post it when I'm finished working on it :)

Performance Phoenix Photo Opportunity

I'm thrilled to announce the date of the TaeKwonDo Photo Day,
November 28th.
Up top are a couple of the raw images I'm working with to perfect the style I will be using. I will be making another post when I have finished working on them.
I was so pleased with the positive reaction to Instructor Dave's announcement, and look forward to a beautiful turn out.
So, I will be busy...but happily so!

On a personal note, Josiah made his yellow belt, along with the majority of his class. I was so proud of them all.

I think it is important to remember that each day is a brand new opportunity to grasp hold of the gift of life and be thankful!
There have been times when I have questioned my dreams and aspirations, yet the Universe seems to know when we need a lift the most, and is there with it's hand out, whispering "trust me and fly"

Until then-- Beth

Another November day

Most recently, I realized that winter isn't even here yet, and I miss summer already.
Sometimes I think that perhaps Eric is right...we should just move to Nevada and call it a day!

But, being here has it's perks as well. I enjoy seeing the kids more regularly, and get to take part in things like school events, belt testing and races...so there's always more then one side to a story.

Josiah did his test for his yellow belt on Friday. It was really cool to see that little guy break the thingy with his head, and do sparring. I hope he passed the testing cuz he sure did put his all into it.

As for "how I'm doing"...I'm taking each day at a time. Reading "Reike and the Seven Chakras" by Richard Ellis and "Kids Are Worth It" by Barbara Coloroso.
I also have been given a wonderful photo opportunity by the local TaeKwonDo school. They are allowing me to be their official Photographer for class portraits and packages. I'm super excited to do that, and have to go in and set a date...soon I guess cuz Christmas is nearly here already.
Wow how time flies.

Mum is hanging in there. Her surgery is fast approaching, and specialists around here make me scratch my head over and over again. So very helpful...?? Hmmm. But she still has good days and bad. I hope for her speedy recovery and trust the Universe knows what it's doing.

Other then that, life is pretty much status quo. I'm learning very quickly to accept what is and embrace the possibilities. Eric and I still have each other, and all is well.

Many blessings...